I can’t even put a name to this feeling that I have. But the closest I could relate it to, is emptiness. Like something is missing from me. I have no idea what that is. I drive myself crazy trying to put a finger on it. But I’m losing hope on finding it. I’m losing hope on almost everything. And I can feel that changing me. I am the kind of person who is ruled by their emotions, and lately, I just feel almost numb. I can still feel all these other emotions inside of me, but I just don’t know how to deal with them. I never have. So I don’t. I try to push them down until I can barely feel them. And just wait until the day that I can come to terms with them. Because I know that is the only way I will ever be happy. But I’m afraid that I’m pushing them so far down and am waiting so long that they are just going to marinate and become a part of me. That these unresolved feelings will mold to my bones, flow through my veins, and I will just grow to become a bitter person. But I don’t know what else to do. I’ve lost my passion for anything. Nothing is able to hold my interest very long anymore. And even when it does, I just don’t have the will power to keep it. I’m afraid that this feeling won’t go away. That I am going to just live like this for the rest of my life. Empty. I know that it’s up to me to change it. But I don’t know how to.